101 pet peeves/things I absolutely can't stand
-People who use the word "existential" without knowing what it means: you really really really piss me off
-People in tiny red '92 Honda Civics (or little red chebys) trying to race other cars on the road
-Obnoxious cellphone use in public places. If i had $400 to burn, I'd buy an illegal jammer with extended range.
-MTV2 going hip-hop on us last October and never coming back. Headbanger's Ball was brought back after 10 years only to be replaced by gangsta rap... What a travesty!
-Nextels (that chirping can drive a man to kill)
-iFads
-Anyone that thinks that iFads are not just teenage fashion accessories but they're actually better players than everything else on the market: school yourself a little. I'd say I have 2 words for you, but I really have about 14000. Oh what the hell, here's 2 pulled randomly from those 14000: "gapless playback". Idiots.
-Ap*le-fanatics (who we're now "affectionately" calling iDrones) that are so blinded by their own
propaganda that they'll never grow up *rollseyes*
-The iFad Shuffle: uhh.. 1997 called, it wants it's old tech back. When your cheap chinese knock-offs sport more features and higher quality playback, it's time for one of those rare reality checks. Go to mac-sucks.com to get started.
-The FCC telling what i can/can't watch/hear
-Drew Carey
-People at starbucks taking a full 5 minutes to lay down in intricate detail all 75 things they'd like in their goddamn coffee. Anyone who wants a "double non-fat extra-hot decaf venti caramel macchiato soy latte with double foam, a hint of cinnamon, no sugar" should wait until everyone else is done coz all I want is a mocha frappuccino with whipped cream.
-Parking in downtown denver on a saturday night
-Innorant peepul who like to tell that me my engliss is bery gud (actually, it's a good laugh)
-Clowns: they're extremely disturbing
-Johnny Cash covering NIN's Hurt. Now that's the reason the word bastardization was invented.
-Trucker hats
-The sound of an F-1 engine rapidly downshifting: it's extremely disconcerting to hear that uncomfortable sound. It's like the engine hates forcing the gearbox to shift down.
-Regular people on the street driving cop cars (those damn Fords that look like cop-cars, esp in colors similar to actual cop-cars). Actually if they weren't built by Ford, I'd probably buy one just so I could ride someone's ass just to scare the crap out of them.
-Having to wait for 6 minutes to finish microwaving a Hungry Man
-People handing out gmail invites anytime after June '04 and actually considering it a favor (sometimes even expecting stuff in return). Everyone and their grandmother had gmail by then and if you're one of the 7 people on planet earth that didn't, it's not the life-changing experience you think it is anyway, so calm yourself
-Black Escalades with spinners, pimp cups and all other oddities of degenerate hip hop culture
-Having to flip through tv channels when eating dinner by myself
-Missy Elliot (what did you just say? d-o y-o-u speak English??)
-Crippled bluetooth stacks on otherwise outstanding phones
-The mighty Dubya: self-appointed international police chief and oil-stealing child-murderer
-Stickers/email sigs like "There are 10 kinds of ppl in the world: those who understand this and those who don't". That hasn't been clever since in 1984. Even my 8 year old cousin understands it.
-Motorola killing the dream of my MPx
-Rush hour traffic on I-25
-Fools who think they're cool for not bending their hats
-4 hour layovers between two 2 hour flights
-Those tv shows where all the "teenagers" are 28 years old and their parents are 33 (like the OC)
-Having to do 4 loads of laundry one after another coz i'm too lazy to do it when 1 or 2 loads pile up
-Low riders: just plain wrong.
-Watching Michael Schumacher and the foolish tifosi think he can drive a Formula-1 car
-That dude Jared from the Subway commercials (he drives me so crazy I never wanna go back to Subway, even though I like their subs)
-Bladderbust! (but only because I suck at it.. it's actually a great thing)
-Boy bands like Simple Plan, Good Charlotte, Hoobastank, Yellowcard etc that think they rock (it's not punk and it's not punk-rock, it's just Britney pop with a different candy coating)
-Improper or inconsistent (within the same album) ID3 tags on mp3 files
-The fact that all american sports are either ghey (baseball and football) or redneck (nascar). Didn't mean to offend you Bubba, read the disclaimer. Btw maybe you need to consider engaging in sports with other countries. How can a whole country possibly set their standards low enough to watch college basketball as an excuse for sports (and get pretty damn excited about it too. Goddamn NCAA is on 15 channels at any given time and don't even get me started on the betting pools..)? Compared to a real sport, that's like watching two 3-year olds race their tricyles around in the back yard for the grand prize of a lollipop. That's just weak. No wonder the american "national" soccer squad can get pwned by just about any high-school girls team in England.
-Self-righteous mofos opposing same-sex marriage
-The morning after drunk dialling ur ex
-Rage Against the Machine breaking up
-Rage Against the Machine breaking up and spawning Audioslave
-People who the devil horns backasswards (your palm should be facing you, not facing the other way, posers! Why, you ask? Coz i said so.)
-Taxes: otherwise known as donating a chunk of my money to Uncle Sam for no apparent reason (oh wait, he needs it to bomb innocent women and children and steal their oil. My bad.)
-Unncessary (or worse, just plain contrived) l33tspeak
-Aviator shades
-People who say "aks" instead of "ask". What gives? It can't really be that hard, can it?
-Roger Ebert: what a pretentious asswipe. That god for the general good sense of Roeper.
-Nickelback, those guys put the uck in suck
-Getting stuck behind a woman doing 65 on the freeway in her minivan during the morning rush hour traffic and holding up 17 cars, finally getting around, cutting her off and getting a good look at her to find that she's on the phone. This shit happens every single day. If you're gonna be on the phone, drive in the slow lane beeyatch. Clearly your motor skills aren't far along enough to handle 2 super-complicated tasks at once. They should line up all these women and tase them until they fry (can I get that job? I'd do it for free).
-Sushi
-The incompetent assclowns at my school's technology services helpdesk (UTS) who can't tell their own faces from their asses. If you're reading this, yo' mama's so stupid she thought asphalt was a skin disease.
-Dimebag Darrell getting shot up by an overly zealous Pantera fan
-Concert tickets that cost $50+ (the only kind that cost more than $100 are for the U2 type bands, which I won't be caught dead at anyway)
-Cats as pets
-The New York Times: misguided, pretentious and just trite really
-Bands like My Chemical Romance: STOP trying to be someone else! What a bunch of jerk-offs.
-Single ply
-Dudes driving Mustangs (or other chick cars) and feeling all butch about it hahaha
-Religion (well, most modern interpretations of it anyway)
-Peeps who can't keep promises (Don't make 'em if u can't keep 'em)
-People in tiny red '92 Honda Civics (or little red chebys) trying to race other cars on the road
-Obnoxious cellphone use in public places. If i had $400 to burn, I'd buy an illegal jammer with extended range.
-MTV2 going hip-hop on us last October and never coming back. Headbanger's Ball was brought back after 10 years only to be replaced by gangsta rap... What a travesty!
-Nextels (that chirping can drive a man to kill)
-iFads
-Anyone that thinks that iFads are not just teenage fashion accessories but they're actually better players than everything else on the market: school yourself a little. I'd say I have 2 words for you, but I really have about 14000. Oh what the hell, here's 2 pulled randomly from those 14000: "gapless playback". Idiots.
-Ap*le-fanatics (who we're now "affectionately" calling iDrones) that are so blinded by their own
propaganda that they'll never grow up *rollseyes*
-The iFad Shuffle: uhh.. 1997 called, it wants it's old tech back. When your cheap chinese knock-offs sport more features and higher quality playback, it's time for one of those rare reality checks. Go to mac-sucks.com to get started.
-The FCC telling what i can/can't watch/hear
-Drew Carey
-People at starbucks taking a full 5 minutes to lay down in intricate detail all 75 things they'd like in their goddamn coffee. Anyone who wants a "double non-fat extra-hot decaf venti caramel macchiato soy latte with double foam, a hint of cinnamon, no sugar" should wait until everyone else is done coz all I want is a mocha frappuccino with whipped cream.
-Parking in downtown denver on a saturday night
-Innorant peepul who like to tell that me my engliss is bery gud (actually, it's a good laugh)
-Clowns: they're extremely disturbing
-Johnny Cash covering NIN's Hurt. Now that's the reason the word bastardization was invented.
-Trucker hats
-The sound of an F-1 engine rapidly downshifting: it's extremely disconcerting to hear that uncomfortable sound. It's like the engine hates forcing the gearbox to shift down.
-Regular people on the street driving cop cars (those damn Fords that look like cop-cars, esp in colors similar to actual cop-cars). Actually if they weren't built by Ford, I'd probably buy one just so I could ride someone's ass just to scare the crap out of them.
-Having to wait for 6 minutes to finish microwaving a Hungry Man
-People handing out gmail invites anytime after June '04 and actually considering it a favor (sometimes even expecting stuff in return). Everyone and their grandmother had gmail by then and if you're one of the 7 people on planet earth that didn't, it's not the life-changing experience you think it is anyway, so calm yourself
-Black Escalades with spinners, pimp cups and all other oddities of degenerate hip hop culture
-Having to flip through tv channels when eating dinner by myself
-Missy Elliot (what did you just say? d-o y-o-u speak English??)
-Crippled bluetooth stacks on otherwise outstanding phones
-The mighty Dubya: self-appointed international police chief and oil-stealing child-murderer
-Stickers/email sigs like "There are 10 kinds of ppl in the world: those who understand this and those who don't". That hasn't been clever since in 1984. Even my 8 year old cousin understands it.
-Motorola killing the dream of my MPx
-Rush hour traffic on I-25
-Fools who think they're cool for not bending their hats
-4 hour layovers between two 2 hour flights
-Those tv shows where all the "teenagers" are 28 years old and their parents are 33 (like the OC)
-Having to do 4 loads of laundry one after another coz i'm too lazy to do it when 1 or 2 loads pile up
-Low riders: just plain wrong.
-Watching Michael Schumacher and the foolish tifosi think he can drive a Formula-1 car
-That dude Jared from the Subway commercials (he drives me so crazy I never wanna go back to Subway, even though I like their subs)
-Bladderbust! (but only because I suck at it.. it's actually a great thing)
-Boy bands like Simple Plan, Good Charlotte, Hoobastank, Yellowcard etc that think they rock (it's not punk and it's not punk-rock, it's just Britney pop with a different candy coating)
-Improper or inconsistent (within the same album) ID3 tags on mp3 files
-The fact that all american sports are either ghey (baseball and football) or redneck (nascar). Didn't mean to offend you Bubba, read the disclaimer. Btw maybe you need to consider engaging in sports with other countries. How can a whole country possibly set their standards low enough to watch college basketball as an excuse for sports (and get pretty damn excited about it too. Goddamn NCAA is on 15 channels at any given time and don't even get me started on the betting pools..)? Compared to a real sport, that's like watching two 3-year olds race their tricyles around in the back yard for the grand prize of a lollipop. That's just weak. No wonder the american "national" soccer squad can get pwned by just about any high-school girls team in England.
-Self-righteous mofos opposing same-sex marriage
-The morning after drunk dialling ur ex
-Rage Against the Machine breaking up
-Rage Against the Machine breaking up and spawning Audioslave
-People who the devil horns backasswards (your palm should be facing you, not facing the other way, posers! Why, you ask? Coz i said so.)
-Taxes: otherwise known as donating a chunk of my money to Uncle Sam for no apparent reason (oh wait, he needs it to bomb innocent women and children and steal their oil. My bad.)
-Unncessary (or worse, just plain contrived) l33tspeak
-Aviator shades
-People who say "aks" instead of "ask". What gives? It can't really be that hard, can it?
-Roger Ebert: what a pretentious asswipe. That god for the general good sense of Roeper.
-Nickelback, those guys put the uck in suck
-Getting stuck behind a woman doing 65 on the freeway in her minivan during the morning rush hour traffic and holding up 17 cars, finally getting around, cutting her off and getting a good look at her to find that she's on the phone. This shit happens every single day. If you're gonna be on the phone, drive in the slow lane beeyatch. Clearly your motor skills aren't far along enough to handle 2 super-complicated tasks at once. They should line up all these women and tase them until they fry (can I get that job? I'd do it for free).
-Sushi
-The incompetent assclowns at my school's technology services helpdesk (UTS) who can't tell their own faces from their asses. If you're reading this, yo' mama's so stupid she thought asphalt was a skin disease.
-Dimebag Darrell getting shot up by an overly zealous Pantera fan
-Concert tickets that cost $50+ (the only kind that cost more than $100 are for the U2 type bands, which I won't be caught dead at anyway)
-Cats as pets
-The New York Times: misguided, pretentious and just trite really
-Bands like My Chemical Romance: STOP trying to be someone else! What a bunch of jerk-offs.
-Single ply
-Dudes driving Mustangs (or other chick cars) and feeling all butch about it hahaha
-Religion (well, most modern interpretations of it anyway)
-Peeps who can't keep promises (Don't make 'em if u can't keep 'em)
posted by fnm at
1:38 PM
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